i don't have advocacy. my grandma was so FOOLISH to put her confidence in someone who doesn't even know the little amount of info. that she HERSELF knew.

i was laying in bed this morning before i got up thinking about when my driver's permit expires. i think i've taken the damn knowledge test at least 8 times in my life. i think about the past disabled people with driver's licenses in the previous apartment i used to live in burnsville. jesse and james obviously have families that ACTUALLY care about them- NOT JUST when it's CONVENIENT and beneficial to them. so the reason why i don't have my driver's license falls on the people who are SUPPOSEDLY SUPPOSED to be "supporting" me- considering THEY ARE THE MAIN REASON WHY I'M NOT WHERE I COULD BE. my grandma built my hopes up so much. FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME- I WAS NOT DRIVING THE VEHICLE IN THE ACCIDENT WHICH CAUSED ME TO LOSE MY LICENSE ULTIMATELY. I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A DROP OF ALCOHOL IN MY SYSTEM.. BUT THE DRIVER? HE WAS DRINKING AND WAS THE CAUSE OF THE ACCIDENT AND HE DOES HAVE HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE BACK. WHY'S THAT? HE'S FROM NEW YORK AND ACTUALLY HAS A SUPPORT SYSTEM (HIS FAMILY) WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT HIM TO MAKE SURE HE HAS EVERYTHING TO MAKE HIM TRULY HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL- ME.. PFFT.. I GOT A SUPPORT SYSTEM THAT TELLS ME "YOU GOT THIS!" WHENEVER I COME TO THEM FOR HELP WITHOUT EVEN OFFERING HELP OR ADVOCACY. MY FAMILY IS MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR OWN LIVES. I WAS THE ONE WHO ULTIMATELY GOT EVERYTHING I MANAGED TO GET. NOT AMANDA. I VOLUNTEERED AT PHILANDO'S MEMORIAL AND HIS MOM NETWORKED FOR ME TO GET THE JOB I HAVE RIGHT NOW. NOT AMANDA LIKE MY GRANDMA ASSUMED SHE'D BE MORE PROACTIVE IN HELPING ME GET. AMANDA TOOK THE EASY ROUTE AND ASSUMED THAT MY GRANDMA JUST UNDERESTIMATED ME LIKE EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD AND ASSUMED I WAS HAPPY AND SATISFIED WITH BEING A REHAB. TOOL FOR THE COURAGE CENTER. IF SHE REALLY CARED- SHE'D HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF MY LONG HISTORY WITH COURAGE KENNY. MY GRANDMA CLAIMED THAT AMANDA KNEW THE GAME PLAN AND WOULD HAVE ME IN NEW YORK!.. MY GRANDMA DIED 10 YEARS AGO. i remember talking to people about moving to new york when my money was with wells fargo and i had a consultant helping me but my grandma was still alive when my money was with wells fargo and she got too paranoid that the consultant was taking too much of my money and just assumed someone else could do what they were doing for cheaper and it wouldn't come from my money. my grandma was so naive. she THOUGHT that amanda would just do everything my consultant at wells fargo was doing. she meant well but she didn't have ANY experience with this at all and it's obvious judging how she put all her trust in someone to help me with something that she can't even do herself.